Age Before Beauty

So, for those of you who follow me on Facebook or Instagram, you've noticed that I am taking a stage make-up class this semester.

Coming into the class, I had no idea how much I would learn about self-worth. I mean, it's make-up!

I've gone back and forth with my self image for years. Some days I dress up and feel like a million dollars and some days, I look in the mirror and wonder why I bother. It's something I've been working on. 

So, when I told my husband that I needed to take a picture of myself without make-up on, he groaned, anticipating the self-critique that could ensue. I took the printed picture with me to make-up and get to use it to plan out what I will do with my face during each different project. I'll just say, I've spent more time staring at my face this semester than most times in my life and it has been interesting.

Anyway, this week, we learned to do middle age make-up. 

Yes, I know that this does not look middle aged, but remember, it is meant to be seen from the stage, where old looks middle aged and middle aged looks like their twenties. 

The point of middle aged is to find every wrinkle and imperfection in your face and accentuate it. Now, that may sound kind of awful, but all of the pressure to look "perfect" was gone and I LOVED it! 

It was really interesting to turn my perception of my splotchy skin, acne, and multitudinous wrinkles on its head. It was freeing. My skin was "perfect" for this make-up. I didn't feel self-conscious at all. (Probably because I knew that it could all wash off, but that's not the point!) The point is that we don't have be or look a certain way to practice self-compassion and love.

"Perfectionism is self-destructive simply because there is no such thing as perfect. Perfection is an unattainable goal. Additionally, perfectionism is more about perception--we want to be perceived as perfect. Again, this is unattainable--there is no way to control perception, regardless of how much time and energy we spend trying."    -- Brené Brown, "The Gifts of Imperfection

This year, I have a goal to be more authentic and self-compassionate. I'm giving up my addiction to perfectionism and fighting to own my vulnerabilities. It's a day to day thing, but I'm learning. It's my life, I might as well live it. =)